Friendships fade quietly more often than they end in a fight. These 12 questions look at the everyday habits that make friends feel valued or forgotten. Be honest — nothing is saved.
The short answer
One missed message or canceled plan does not make you a bad friend. A more useful question is whether your friends can generally trust you, feel heard and set boundaries with you. Repeated broken promises, sharing confidences or only reaching out for favors deserve attention.
Written by Account AB as an original self-reflection activity. This quiz has not been clinically validated and is not a diagnosis or a judgment of your worth.
1. I mostly reach out when I need something.
2. I cancel plans at the last minute.
3. Conversations tend to drift back to my life and problems.
4. I forget important dates or events in my friends' lives.
5. I take days or weeks to reply to messages, then don't acknowledge it.
6. I share things friends told me in confidence.
7. I'm hard to reach when a friend is going through something difficult.
8. I compete with or quietly resent my friends' successes.
9. I borrow money or things and am slow to pay them back.
10. I make jokes at a friend's expense in front of others.
11. I expect friends to adapt to my schedule more than I adapt to theirs.
12. I avoid honest conversations and let problems build up instead.
How this quiz works
Each answer scores 0 (Never), 1 (Sometimes) or 2 (Often), for a total of 0–24. Results use three editorial ranges: 0–8, 9–16 and 17–24. These cutoffs are not clinically established. Your quiz answers are held only while this page is open and are not saved; this device only remembers that you finished the quiz.
Your score summarizes the friendship habits you reported, not your friend's feelings or the quality of the entire relationship. One serious breach of trust can matter even when the total is low; a high total is a starting point for change, not a permanent label.
Being busy is different from being unreliable
You do not owe a friend constant availability. Work, caregiving, health and different communication preferences can all affect how often you connect. Reliability means being honest about your capacity and following through on what you actually agreed to—not answering every message immediately.
If you cannot keep a plan, give notice when possible and suggest an alternative you can manage. ‘I can't do Saturday; would a short call Sunday work?’ communicates more care than repeatedly saying ‘soon’ without making a plan.
Repair trust without asking for instant forgiveness
An apology works best when it names the event and its impact. If you shared a private story, acknowledge the breach instead of arguing that you meant well. Ask what information needs to stay private in the future and respect the answer.
A friend may need time or may not want to reconnect. Repair is an offer, not a demand. You can improve your habits even if a particular friendship does not return to how it was.
What to do next
Pick one friendship rather than judging yourself against everyone you know.
Send a check-in that does not ask for a favor, and listen to the reply.
Follow through on one small promise you can realistically keep.
If there was a specific hurt, apologize for that action and make a concrete change without pressing for reassurance.
Common questions
Am I a bad friend if I need space?
No. Space and care can coexist. When it is safe and appropriate, explain your limit rather than disappearing with no context. You can say, ‘I need a quieter week, but I'd like to catch up next Tuesday.’
Does a fading friendship mean I failed?
Not necessarily. Priorities, location and expectations can change. Look at how both people have behaved and whether you still want the same kind of friendship before treating distance as proof of wrongdoing.
